Madam Trixies Blog

As one gets older it is soon realized that the act of pernocation gets more difficult. Whether you are partying, studying for a test, or pulling an all-nighter for work(especially when you run an Internet Solutions Company). I noticed that when people stay up all night they tend to become very cranky and irritable and that can surely rub off on someone close to you. So as you can see in the image above, I have created my own solution to the annoying utterances in the room, the distractions per say. I have devised a Shhh stool also referred to as a please shut the f^&* up because I’m tired and I don’t want to hear you right now stool. I have to admit that to date it has worked wonderfully as a conversation piece which was not my intentions with it but it makes for a good laugh.

Anyone who is anybody can relate to this example:
It is 2:33 am on a Friday night and the bars have just closed and the boys from the bachelor party just showed up gearing up to get down. I like to call them the midnight marauders…they usually exemplify the following characteristics- loud boisterous voices, interrupters of conversation, yard urinators who let the dog out on accident, cigarette ash droppers, and the ones who actually pee in the toilet either leave the seat up or pee on it…gross!

And let it be noted that when the midnight marauders appear you should take the initiative to hide your “feel goods” in this case I am talking about my Coors Light. Before I knew it my last 2 beers were gone, mia…imagine that.

Let me take this blog post to another level if you may…It is not the sloppy piss or the ashes on the floor or even the suggestion of watching pornographic films that really urks me…it is all the shit talking that goes along with it. You can clean up the tangible messes with some Windex or some Lysol, no problem…but the shit talking becomes a permanent stain in this wardrobe of a life. A stain that can only be removed with a spray from the bottle of apology under the kitchen sink, if you know what I mean.

I try to keep the shit chat to a minimum…hence the “Shhh Stool”.

As you can imagine there are a manillion ways to use the Shhh stool aka “sacred stool of shut up”.

I am thinking of mass marketing them…I think they would sell. Let me know if you interested in buying one…I will customize it for you… just hit me up on myspace I mean my myspace.

Hey 33?

Signing out to “Strut” by Sheen Easton…hehehe

The To-Do lists get longer, the voice-mail-box is full, the emails are 98% spam, the journal is full, the jeans are too tight, the Fris vodka and pomegranate juice with a splash of Sprite drink is almost empty, the cell phone battery doesn’t hold a charge, the Dell laptop is broken, the cat box is dirty, the turtle has a hemorrhoid, the tap water tastes like chlorine, the dog has bad breathe, gas is too expensive, the drain in the sink has food in it, the rug needs vacuumed, the kitty cats need brushed, the leftovers need to be put in the fridge, the screen needs replaced on the porch, 3 people were diagnosed with cancer this week, Grandma can’t walk because of a painful hip, the grass is being taken over by weeds and the world is in a scrofulous kerfuffle.

We all have our kerfuffles…

writer’s block has intruded…

(The Pharaoh is to the right to the right)

“Somethin’s happinen…Somethin’s Happenen” - those words came from straight outta the mouth of my friend “The Pharaoh” - gOd bless him as he plays ping-pong in purgatory with James Brown until they call his number. Now that sounds like a party…no…fer real. I stumbled into happiness and focus yesterday and I think they are gonna stay for awhile…can someone call money and tell them i’m lookin for them…thnx!

I came up with this analogy…moreso my perspective on life’s emotional patterns…
Heres what i said in a post on my website on Sept 3rd 06:

“life is a rollercoaster on a highway” - There will be ups and downs, thrills and chills, emotions dominate us from start to finish, there is a beginning and an end…but remember this, rollercoasters symbolize or represent FUN and most importantly you are givin the oppurtunity to build your own…it just takes a little thought…and then the action begins…So strap on your seat belt or in my case put your helmet on pray for the best and the opportunity to ride again sometime!”
Well when ur not happy and impatient and want all those things ur not allowed to have yet…you can get kinda grumpy depressed and experience shit like “poignant anxiety” <- google it and think shit like…damn…my ass is been miserable for too long…wheres the happiness…am i gonna even seee it again…just then - somethin’ happens, somethin happens…

The secret word of the day is Fusstle

Fusstle - (n) [fuss-uhl]- Fusstle is the predicate of hustle. It is the fuss of the hustle. It is the haggle.
Ex. - Mr. and Mrs. Smith got so caught up in the fusstle that they nearly forgot to have fun at the event they were attending.

Sometimes the Paparazzi’s fusstle and method of journalism is so obsolete and annoying and they will…

The Descriptionist

Picasa is a landmark in what is the beginning of the Internets next generation…Generation 2 of the The Interthing. Why?
Well, because of its Interactive Facets and overall capability to do lots of things and blah blah blah…

Gooodbye Flickr hello Picasa

Read reviews about Picasa at 33Queen

Are you one of those people who says stoopid stuff all the time? By stupid I am referring to #1-4 in the previous link…if u didn’t click on it I would suggest you do that now…
Well if you are you probably don’t know you are or you know you r and don’t care…
Let it be known that stoopid is not funny…funny is funny…like funny is not stupid.
For example Jackass 2 was repulsively funny.

A great example of something stoopid is (insert name here).

Here’s one method I have developed for personally dealing with stoopid people:
I write their names in my 1989 Websters New World Third Edition Dictionary under what ever adjective(such as STUPID) they may epitomize. Why? because:
it makes me feel better
writing it beats the heck out of verbalizing it
and one day my 1989 Websters dictionary will be history, something that will either be passed down from generation to generation or be sold at a yard sale for $33.00. But who knows and who really wants to think that far ahead…not me…I prefer to live in the NOW…thnx

I have found this method most satisfying…because I have learned that telling stoopid people they are stoopid is just STOOPID~

So the moral of the story is…
There are a manillion people in the world for which we communicate with a % of them daily…Those people either like u for who u really are or they don’t…and my theory is and I quote ” If you don’t like me then move on because there are a manillion other people for you to like”
It’s really that simple…it’s amazing!

So what makes a person stoopid? their intentions perhaps…I haven’t come to a concrete conclusion yet…but i will continue to use the scientific method on this…….HA

As far as I know noone stoopid reads my shit…but one can only wish..

For once someone please feel free to comment on here and tell me something you find stoopid!

now i have to find a picture of stoopid for this post…hahaha better hope its not you…see that’s funny!

“The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we have of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us.”
- Quentin Crisp

Don’t you hate when u have nothing really exciting to write about. Actually I take that back…there are a few things that put me over the edge this weekend, such as:
-Getting my laptop battery cord back after its week long trip to Miami in a trunk
-Going out the boat with my mom and best friend Jennifer and breaking the cotter pin running into rocks at Green Key Beach and then Jennifer throwing anchor when it wasn’t attached to the rope…in like 3 feet of water and then being rescued by a local politicians family member who kept insisting we get trade a “tow for a joint”. - We were “Girls Gone Green Key”. The only pictures we have from our excursion is from the dude on the beach with his black and white camera. Whene he wasn’t taking pictures of his grandpa’s hats in the sunset he was snapping pics of me drinking Ten High Kentucky Bourbon from the bottle…NICE!

What else happened over the weekend…huh?
-Clyde Singleton MC’d the Goofy vs. Regular foot contest in cali and I hear Sole Tech Team won Gold
-I made Steak Samwhiches that were really good
-I painted pumpkins

Well as I said ” Nothing To write about”!

I kinda like the saying “You have Your Vices and I have Mine” - although I want to take credit for this aphorism or paradigm thingy…I truely cannot remember if I heard it somewhere or came up with it all by Mesylf!

Now just in case you aren’t familiar with Mr. Sam Clemens aka Mark Twain…He was the person who rode in and out on Haley’s Comet…and I’m not kidding.

I don’t have time now to delve into this as much as I would like…but here is what I heard about Mark or Sam: (I hope I get this right…if not then it sure makes for a good story)
Here are a few things that I found interesting about this…this amazingly accomplished man of men: The Time Line Will Blow Your Mind!
-He nvented garment straps
-He loved his whisky and cigars and managed to live to be a productive 74 yr old
-He is accredited with 3 patents one of which was Mark Twains Interactive Scrap Book and another was the memory builder game
-He was a fully liscensed pilot
-He tells good stories like and he “Tells it like it is”
-He had alot of money and went bankrupt In 1984 which resulted in failure of his printing firm and investments…
-He hung out on Jackass Hill with the frogs and Smiley
-The best part is he actually worked his ass off and paid all his Debt IN PULL…I wonder if his bank mismanaged his funds and fuked up his life and credit…Help
-I believe somewhere in there he had a mission to change the credit card policies cause it’s killing 80% of us

and um…

I will pick up on the rest later..

I think unicorns and miracles are the coolest.

I would stay and chat but I gotta go to Dr. Luda’s Release Therapy Session…so ttfn
and kudos to the following for steppin shit up… you really got people thinkin: in alpha order
Myself
Tupac
Ludacris - Count ur clix…brilliant!
Pharrell
Snoop
Young Joc
and the Show Stoppers

Does anyone know specifically what this document is? eh?

Read the rest of this entry »

I apologize for the picture quality, but regretfully I have to admit that we have lost our camera charger AGAIN…so until we order another Canon Camera charger…I will be taking shots with my Cingular 8125.

So the story goes-
I was standing in line at a local 7-eleven and this 711 was no joke…it was sooo busy…it was like the place to be. So lucky me gets there at shift change(10:00pm E.T-5) and I am like…the 6th or 7th person in line…and I was totally considering if ~I should stay or should I go?~
However annoying the situation may have been I found it quite entertaining…so I stayed.

The 2 guys at the check out were blatantly high on God’s weeds and made me giggle for the following reasons:
-It was 10:00 pm and they had sunglasses on(which is a characteristic of those whom reside in the sunshine state)
-Forgot to remember what gas pump # they were at(I woulda forgot too considering there were like 16 pumps)

The dude in front of me had 1 thing…the absolute worst thing to have in a line that long…can u guess what that item is? a bag of ICE…
As I stood in line for what was approximately 4-6 minutes, i proceeded to take on my Care Bear Character - Cheer Bear!
…So I am waiting patiently in line for my turn and enjoying the oppurtunity to peruse the shelves near checkout, meanwhile I have a pack of pink orbit gum, a perrier and some napkins in my hand and a 711 orange slurpy straw stuck in the right side my hat. Which as you can see, I can entertain myself…but sometimes it nice to share.
So I say the fellow holding the bag of ice…”You know you may have to exchange that bag for another by the time we get there” and I was serious, which made it even funnier.
He laughed and then that’s when I saw it…
Care Bears Bubble Toons Blue Rasberry Picture Gum by American Greetings and Flix Candy!!!!!
AMAZING or at least I thought so…it had me at hello…if you know what I mean?

Before I knew it I was lured by the Funshine and Share Bear and believe it or not…the gum is really good tasting and lasts…
Beware - there may be postive side effects

Sooooo BEARWARE! you know what I mean? beware…anyways

I may even order myself a 12 pack!

Do you ever feel like when your talking noone listens? Can anyone relate to this? I mean after awhile…it gets annoying…and I think ~why should I even talk is noone listens~ They may hear me…and you know what is the most annoying…when people try to finish your sentence or thought by process of interuption and insist that they KNOW.
Here’s my problem with that:
~HOW DO YOU KNOW WTF I AM SAYING IF I HAVEN’T HAD THE OPPURTUNITY TO SAY IT~
That’s amazing…Here is the question:
Do you really know what I am thinking? Really?
No, you don’t…you may think you do based on your accumalitive reasoning thought process or your perceptual experience of me.
As humans we have been blessed with the ability to consider and react which differentiates due to the fact that we all as individual souls, with individual thoughts as a byproduct of our experiences…so…simply stated ~what you think and your reality or perception of life experiences and your ability to interpret and remember is and always will be different…as it is now, was in the beginning, and ever shall be…

I am not sure that the world is ready for my paradigms
…so it is my secret until then…
…

“thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven” - GOD

~your kingdom(heaven aka eternal hapiness) will ultimatley come…when your shit is done(your life purpose fulfilled) on this earth…as you were once instructed in heaven.~

What does it take to get get “Thy Done”?
Humility
Confidence
Positive Influence

*My writings represent my beliefs, thoughts, therories from my personal experiences in ~my game of life~ and I don’t want to come off as preaching…
My blog is mine…and this is where I choose to write my thoughts…and “Thy will be done”

In my opinion the definition of the word “religion” is obsolete and widely misunderstood; furthermore, causing great wordly turmoil.

Hate to be the one to say it…but there will always be Good vs Evil…and thank God as of now…there is more good than evil…so there is hope!

I will let you in a little secret…there is this little thing called Karma that is capable of replacing revenge and even thou it takes a little longer to see(hence the term - patience is a virtue), it’s not as instantly gratifying as revenge…but overall…the resulting satisfaction of karma is much more satisfying…and the best part of karma is you didn’t handle it…someone else saw to it!