May 30th, 2008
Secret Word of The Day - Pernoctation
As one gets older it is soon realized that the act of pernocation gets more difficult. Whether you are partying, studying for a test, or pulling an all-nighter for work(especially when you run an Internet Solutions Company). I noticed that when people stay up all night they tend to become very cranky and irritable and that can surely rub off on someone close to you. So as you can see in the image above, I have created my own solution to the annoying utterances in the room, the distractions per say. I have devised a Shhh stool also referred to as a please shut the f^&* up because I’m tired and I don’t want to hear you right now stool. I have to admit that to date it has worked wonderfully as a conversation piece which was not my intentions with it but it makes for a good laugh.
Anyone who is anybody can relate to this example:
It is 2:33 am on a Friday night and the bars have just closed and the boys from the bachelor party just showed up gearing up to get down. I like to call them the midnight marauders…they usually exemplify the following characteristics- loud boisterous voices, interrupters of conversation, yard urinators who let the dog out on accident, cigarette ash droppers, and the ones who actually pee in the toilet either leave the seat up or pee on it…gross!
And let it be noted that when the midnight marauders appear you should take the initiative to hide your “feel goods” in this case I am talking about my Coors Light. Before I knew it my last 2 beers were gone, mia…imagine that.
Let me take this blog post to another level if you may…It is not the sloppy piss or the ashes on the floor or even the suggestion of watching pornographic films that really urks me…it is all the shit talking that goes along with it. You can clean up the tangible messes with some Windex or some Lysol, no problem…but the shit talking becomes a permanent stain in this wardrobe of a life. A stain that can only be removed with a spray from the bottle of apology under the kitchen sink, if you know what I mean.
I try to keep the shit chat to a minimum…hence the “Shhh Stool”.
As you can imagine there are a manillion ways to use the Shhh stool aka “sacred stool of shut up”.
I am thinking of mass marketing them…I think they would sell. Let me know if you interested in buying one…I will customize it for you… just hit me up on myspace I mean my myspace.
Signing out to “Strut” by Sheen Easton…hehehe